This reads well and smoothly; I like it a lot.
As a picky being may I ask you to change one word for the sake of proper grammar?
In the 9th couplet please chance went to gone. It's a common error. Forgive me please.
My husband picked me up in a bar. I had a cold and was hiding in the corner. My friend had begged me to drive her.
Well, the saying I know is true is, "When you're not looking, love will find you." I've been married forever.
No, not at all! Thank you for pointing that out, every little helps. Especially with grammar. Fixing it!
Love these lines.
You've nailed the rhyme, but the beat gets lost sometimes.
That's funny you should say because to be honest, this was more of a freak accident of rhyme than an exercise in rhythm. I didn't really have a beat in mind. I just made it up as I went along, really.
Aw wow.... I love this! I really love your ability to tell a story in vivid pictures. I read and see the whole thing playing out like a movie in clips and pictures. My heartstrings are tugged and I feel the emotion of it in gentle waves of each verse.
Very nicely done, Skander. Best of luck in the contest . I really believe you have captured the theme perfectly in your words here. You really put your heart into this!
It was a lovely start to my day to read this piece from you.