A very quick poem that I thought of just now, composed very quickly.
I thought of a small sentence:First comes loss...then grief...then despair...until all that's left is defiance
From there, I started typing and couldn't stop until now. The poem is what you make of it, although I think anyone who has lost something and wants to hit back at injustice can appreciate this poem. Especially those who decide to take arms when war or armed violence has destroyed their families and lives (e.g. in Afghanistan, Libya and Syria).
I hope you enjoy it. Comments will be much appreciated!
Suggested feedback questions for
1.) Are the lines in the stanzas well organised?
2.) Without reading the description, does the poem convey its message well?
3.) Do any of the metaphors/similes/literary techniques make sense or need improvement?
4.) Any issues with formatting or other errors?
I have given feedback A Sunrise Scene
I have added additional lines to make the poem more emotionally powerful. I'm not sure if it's helped at all. Please do let me know.
I've been told twice that my work reads like a cross between prose and poetry. How can I remedy that without compromising my style?